No Handlebars
by FlexibleSavings
Summary: Join Stan Marsh as he talks about his life growing up. Being the mature soft-served guy that he is, he would have never expected to fall into typical high school drama just to win the affection of his old Super Best Friend. STYLE STYLE STYLE
1. Chapter 1

There she goes again My girlfriend. I could see her protesting outside the school with a myriad of other feminist, all screaming about breast cancer and how the male race wasn't doing their part in the "Saving the Boobs of America". I mean of course I care; cancer is kind of a big deal but I think Wendy, the apparent love of my life, is taking things a little bit too far with her obsessive screaming into a megaphone. Besides it's not the guy's fault for breast cancer. Right?  
I'm keeping my distance; just leaning against the brick wall of the school watching the vultures or rally of girls, circle the flagpole in an attempt to make a point. Wendy really is beautiful when she's angry but the fact that she's making a scene is almost embarrassing. I mean the protest is against men and last time I checked I had a little "something something" between my legs. Finally the bell to the school chimes and I push my self back up straight gripping the strap to my book bag nervously as I made my way over to my girlfriend. "Hey Wends "  
"Stan!" She chirped, lowering her megaphone. "Are you here to join the cause?"  
"Well Not exactly." I nervously scrunch the trim of my striped blue jacket; I was hoping today she wouldn't blame me for the all of the world's pandemic as she usually did. "It's time for first period." Wendy scrunched up her face and narrowed her eyes. What did I do now? "Stan!" She whined; I could barely hear her over all the yelling her cult was doing. "This is more important than any typical school day! How can you not get that?" And with that sentiment she raised her fist in the air and continued to shout for her gender's preference. I groaned, fully expressing my annoyance by lifting my hands in mock surrender before making my way back into the school. There I found my usual click all standing around the water fountain waiting for me, their fearless leader. The group consisted of Clyde, Token, and Cartman. They weren't the people I used to hang out with during elementary school or even middle school for that matter. (Excluding Cartman of course). But high school is a mysterious thing, all these guys were on the football team like I was; Wendy only really approved of this group seeing as it was good for our reputation. We were "King and Queen" of the school as she once put it. I never really cared about being popular, but I wanted to keep Wendy happy.  
As I followed my group into our first block I felt Clyde sling his arm around me.  
"So Marsh. You ready for the big game?" "Yeah." I said quickly, forcing my hands into my pockets. I was the star quarterback, the jock or whatever. I always had a passion for the game every since I was 8 years old. There's nothing like thrashing another guy in the face to make you feel good about yourself. I followed my group to the right corner of the room and sat on top of the table. This class was Creative Writing, so as long as we turned in our little short story at the end of the day, we could do as we please. Which is why I pulled out my notebook and begin writing so that I can hurry and get my work done. "Look at the lil' school boy doin' his classwork." Cartman teased as he sucked his thumb to further his joke. I looked up from my notebook and smiled.  
"You have to make straight A's if you want to stay on the team, Fatass Which reminds me. How do you keep your spot? You don't ever do anything in your classes."  
"It's called a bribe, Stan." Cartman sneered with his hands on his hips. "Get with the times." "That's low Cartman." Token spoke up. "I'm richer than you and I don't even do that." "That's because you're not as smart as me." Cartman said in a matter-of-fact tone. Token rolled his eyes as he jumped up on the table next to me trying to see what I have already written. As I tried to hide my work from him, I noticed a wave of red curls walk by. I slowly lifted my head to see Kyle Brofloski take a seat next to two blondes, one in an orange parker and another in a Hello Kitty shirt. Seeing Kyle always makes me stop what I'm doing I don't know why, but I do. Kyle used to be my Super Best Friend, but as I said, High school is mysterious. We kind of just flew with our own group of friends. Kyle was seemingly the king of misfits while I ruled the popular crowd. Wendy didn't like the fact that Kyle wouldn't conform to us so she just insisted that I make Clyde my right hand man. I did resist at first but Kyle himself seemed to drift away from me so in the end Here I am. I stared at him until his giant green eyes locked onto mine and I quickly withdrew my gaze. Token kicked my blue converses to grab attention. I noticed him making an expression like "What the fuck?" Obviously he noticed my staring and figured something was up. I shrugged and he smiled.  
"Hey Brofloski!" He called in a malicious tone; I could tell this wasn't going to be good. "I just had a thought."  
"Was it a long journey?" Kyle asked sarcastically, not looking away from Kenny and Butters. Token bit his lip angrily for a moment. This was our routine, someone would try to get on Kyle's bad side but the little Jew was too quick witted for most people and always had a comeback. I never got involved; just because we weren't friends didn't mean I hated the guy. We have history. "Listen here you "  
"I'm busy, can I ignore you some other time?" Kyle asked as he wrote something down on Butter's notebook. Token jumped to his feet and marched over to the curly haired boy, who turned around with an annoyed expression.  
"You've got a lot of nerve." Token said as he got toe to toe with the unmoved Kyle. They just stared at each other for what seemed like minutes. The teacher was reading a magazine and felt it was good for children to confront each other on their problems so she hardly ever got drawn in. "So do you, Token." Kenny growled, standing up next to Kyle for support. Butters shakily stood up as well, bumping his fist together nervously. That's when Clyde and Cartman jumped to their feet, ready to assist our belligerent friend. However, I just set my notebook down and fell back against the table for a quick nap and a moment's peace. I could hear a few obscenities and threats being roared out but I threw my arm over my eyes and pretended that I was anywhere but here. I really don't know how this came about. All this fighting or whatever, it was kind of stupid. I just can't wait to be out of this school.

After what seemed like an eternity of sly remarks (mostly from Cartman and Token) and billion of awkward stares (mostly between Kyle and I.) first period was finally over. That meant it was time to huddle around the water fountain again until the second period bell rang. This time Wendy and Bebe were waiting for us with an entirely different outfit than they had on this morning.  
"How'd the rally go?" Clyde asked Bebe, planting a small chaste kiss on her lips. "Terrible!" Bebe squeaked. "They hosed us down! We all had to go back home and change "  
I looked over to Wendy who was staring intently at the floor with her arms crossed. I know that means she's pissed off at something most likely me. She just huffed and blew the bangs out of her face. She was so cute, but terrifying all the same. "Guys lets cut next block, we can go down to Stark's Pond!" Token beamed, dangling the keys to his hummer in front of us. He, Wendy, and Cartman were the only one's with cars, the rest of us rode bikes or, like me, rode skateboards. "That sounds like a great idea!" Wendy chirped clapping her hands together. "I've been working hard the past few months, I deserve a break."  
Everyone began marching to Cartman's lead to the back entrance of the school. There were never any teachers patrolling over there and it was the perfect place to sneak out.  
"Come on Stan" Wendy hissed, noticing the hesitation in my steps. "You guys go ahead I'm not really up to it today."  
Wendy gave me a confused look as she placed her tiny hands on her even tinier waist. I couldn't explain to her that I actually wanted to go to class; I normally would be up for skipping, but today I was just tired of it. Wendy didn't say anything to me. She just stared at me with her big chocolate brown eyes before turning away to catch up to Bebe. I sighed and scuffed the ground with my converses before noticing that everyone in the hall had dispersed to their second period. Second block flew by quickly, so did third and fourth. It was the end of the day and the release bell was about to sound off. I was counting down the seconds mentally. As the clock hit 3:00 I was up and out the door along with the rest of my class. They were just as eager to go home as I was. I needed to get my skateboard out of my locker, which meant going the opposite direction from the exit. At first I contemplated just walking home but the thought of taking an extra 10 minutes to get to the house was unbearable. Reaching the silver colored container of things precious and dear I started opening the lock when I heard a scream and something bump my foot.  
"Gah! Craig, I spilt it all over my self! Ngh!" I looked up to see Tweek fidgeting beneath a coffee stained T-shirt. A black haired boy tried to hold the little blonde down. "You wouldn't have spilt it if you would just hold still." Craig sighed, trying to ring Tweek's shirt dry. I noticed Tweek's thermos had rolled against my leg, still spilling out drips of coffee. I slowly eased down and picked it up from the ground. I held it tightly, considering giving it back to him. After all Craig and Tweek were more apart of Kyle's group instead of mine. But my sweet heartedness got the better of me and I approached the pair with the thermos held close to my chest. Craig had flipped me off as I made my arrival but I don't think he meant anything by it and Tweek Well Tweek just stared up at me with blue eyes shaking like a seizure. "Here's your um...thing." I said handing it back to him and looking off into the distance. Tweak wouldn't take it back though. I could feel him staring me down as if I was going to hit him. However, judging by Craig's glare I doubt anyone would've dared tried to hurt little Tweek.  
"What's going on?" A voice called from down the hall.  
I looked up to see Kyle standing there with a book in his arms. His green zip-up hoodie was sliding off his shoulder He looked so small, so fragile. "I was giving this back to Tweek." I said defensively, shoving the container back into his arms. Kyle looked to his friends for confirmation and upon seeing a nod from Craig he happily sighed. "Oh, It just looked bad from my point of view." Kyle approached me and stared with a soft smile across his pink lips. I couldn't help but turn away; I was so used to avoiding his gaze. "So uh " He began. "Thanks."  
"You mean for giving it back?" I questioned. "It really wasn't a big "  
"No. For not being a jerk or whatever." Kyle gave a halfhearted wave before walking out the entrance with Tweak and Craig following him. I can't explain it but I was almost relieved that Kyle didn't think I was a jerk. I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Well, until I received a text from Wendy that is. "Let's go for a drive tonight. We have certain issues to discus.  
-Wendy"


	2. Chapter 2

It was always awkward having my girlfriend pick me up. I mean I had been working for a while to afford a car but it just wasn't easy and I wasn't just going to settle for any hunk of junk off the market. I wanted something Wendy was going to be proud to ride in. She wanted me to get a hybrid to match hers but I think she wouldn't care if I got something that would drive and not scare the neighbors. I sat at the bottom of my stairs flipping my phone open continuously until I heard that familiar honk from her car. I slightly smiled as I waved bye to mom and practically bolted out the door. "Hey Wendy." I said as I opened the door to the passenger seat. I leaned in to kiss her but she just patted my face and began driving. Uh-oh.  
I have to admit, I was a little bothered by that and I started leaning against the window in hopes that this wasn't going to be another fighting session. It had been happening a lot lately. "Stan." She began sternly. "We haven't been acting like a couple lately."  
And it starts. "What're you talking about Wendy?" I moan. "We act like we always have."  
"No we don't Stanley!"  
"Don't do the first name thing! I can't stand that."  
"You're so neglectful!" "What the fuck Wendy, I'm always there. Supporting you or helping you with all the crazy shit you do!" Sometimes I wonder why I ever opened the cardoor. "Name one time!" She was yelling now. "Today you wouldn't even join the cause!"  
"Because your cause was against me! You were screaming about how all the guys should be castrated!"  
Our argument continued like that: back and forth. Completely and utterly stupid, I don't even know what the bottom line problem was. She was driving around the neighborhood going ape shit, while I was just growling back in my own defense. I just figured she was going to break up with me and then take me back a week later as usual. "At Stark's Pond " She said quietly.  
The anger from me had flooded out and now I was more curious than anything to know what changed her mood so suddenly. I leaned my head in closer to let her know that I was listening. "At Stark's Pond " She repeated. "I kissed Token."  
I was stunned. Why didn't I see this coming? Holy crap! I couldn't feel anything at this moment. I just wanted her to keep talking, say anything and at the end just say "I was kidding." But no. She just shifted her eyes over to me for a quick glance before watching the rode once again. "N-no kidding?" Was all I could muster up to say.  
I could see that Wendy was feeling guilty but I swear it was nothing compared to the way I felt inside right now. "Stan it just happened. He was saying all this nice stuff Stuff you use to tell me and I'm really sorry."  
"So So you're like a whore now?" I asked quickly.  
"Stan!" she screamed rather insulted, but damn it I was far passed any insult in the world right now. "What I thought that's what you called a girl that cheats with her boyfriend's friend?" "I was being honest with you Stan!" She was really angry now. I noticed her swerving the car gently over towards the sidewalk. "Get out of my car!"  
"Like I want to spend another second in your fucking car?" I yelled back. It's funny how the world works. One action can lead to another action and it can totally change your life. See if I had been civil and understanding towards Wendy, we might've made up and continued our little drive, talking about how we could fix our problem. However, since I had gotten pissed off and flung Wendy's car door open with enough force to kill a raging bear I had knocked the crap out of bypassing bicyclist. It was a glorious sight actually. The body of a young boy went diving into the snow where the bike flipped into the air and landed with so much force that it actually bounced into the other lane. My first thought was "Awesome." My second thought was "Oh my God I'm a murder." I practically dove over to the unmoving body and dug his head out of the snow to reveal a mass of red curls. It was Kyle, head first in the snow and completely out of his mind.  
"Kyle?" I shook his limp body lightly. I could hear a few muffled words mixed in with the snow so I flopped him over on his back to understand him better.  
"What was that Kyle?"  
"Pleasure me " He groaned. I gasped a little but I could tell that he wasn't really conscience. "Is he okay?" Wendy called from the other side of the car.  
"Uh yeah, just a little off" I admitted, slinging Kyle's arm over my shoulder and practically dragging him into Wendy's back seat. "Did he dent my car?" "Who cares? Just get Token to pay for it. I'm sure he'd love to."  
Wendy growled and threw her fist in the air as if she was pretending to punch me in the face. Well jeez. "Hey Wendy, get his bike and we'll throw it in the trunk."  
Wendy nodded and turned to retrieve it. It was funny how we could scream at each other one minute and then help each other the next. Suddenly I heard her let out a light yelp as U-HAUL came speeding by.  
"Bastard almost killed me." She growled looking down the street at the insane driver. "Uh Stan?"  
"Yeah?"  
Wendy lifted up only the handlebar to Kyle's bike and shrugged slightly. "That guy just ran it over."  
"Oh damn it." I growled pinching the bridge of my nose. "Is that all that's left? Whatever; put it in the car. I'll have to explain it to Kyle later." Wendy placed the handlebar into the trunk and motioned for me to get in the car.  
"Should we take him to the hospital?" Wendy asked buckling herself in. "If we take him to that place he'll come out a lot worse than he is now. Remember when Cartman was HIV positive?"  
Wendy nodded in agreement. "To his house then."

It only took a few minutes to get to the Brofloski resident. Everyone in South Park lived relatively close by so that was a plus for this quiet mountain town.  
"Okay Wendy." I said getting out of the car. "Pop the trunk. I need to get that handle bar.  
"Okay but Stan. This doesn't mean we're together anymore."  
I rolled my eyes as I slammed my door shut and then preceded to get the groaning Kyle from the backseat. "Stan?" He asked, realizing who I was at least. "What happened?"  
"Uh. I'll explain later. I have to get your bike er handlebar out the trunk. I could feel him go limp again and I tucked the handlebar under my arms and slammed Wendy's trunk shut. That's when I watched her speed away from me and possibly into the arms of a Benedict Arnold. Nobody in South Park locked their doors. We all trusted each other (surprisingly) enough that it didn't seem necessary. So, holding Kyle and the handlebar clumsily in my right arm, I opened his front door with my left hand to reveal a dark familiar living room. I hadn't been here in a long time. The whole house smelled like a Kyle, so fresh and addicting. I threw the handlebar over to the couch while trying to hold Kyle up with my other hand. He was slipping and sliding against the wall. I tired to throw him over my shoulder, but even though he was so skinny, he was still a guy and incredibly heavy. I ended up tumbling onto the stairs and I'm positive that if he weren't already unconscious then he would be now. "Damn it Kyle." I growled trying to shimmy him up the stairs. Kyle looked so relaxed when he was sleeping uh, or knocked out. His rosy cheeks lit up and his soft wavy hair tickled those 'said cheeks' in such a fashion that it was almost womanly. At this moment I started wondering why did we ever stop being friends. I finally got him to the upstairs hallway and I thanked God that I still remembered the layout of his house. His room would be the first on the right, so I grabbed him by his forearms and dragged him into his room and practically flung him onto his bed. I realized that I was being quite violent around him. Not on purpose. I turned on his lamp so I could see him better. I sat down next to him and ran my fingers through each shiny curl, watching them bounce back to life with a simple tug. "His hair is so gay." I snickered out, ruffling his head even more. I could feel a slight bump at the top of his temple. I knew it must've happened during his crash. I sprung to my feet, seeing this injury one to many times during football season and dashed to the bathroom across the hall. I found the rags under the sink and turned the faucet onto hot. A steamy rag was always the best cure. Feeling satisfied with the warmth of the cloth I returned back to Kyle's bedroom to see him sitting up straight with half lidded eyes. "How'd I get home?" He asked shakily.  
"I brought you here." I said throwing the rag into his face. "I was the one who knocked you out."  
"Well thanks. I love it when my murders make sure I'm okay."  
"I could change my mind." I threatened jokingly. "You should!" He smiled. "Maybe the new one will work better for you."  
I rolled my eyes but smiled all the same. Kyle was rubbing the rag over his sore lump, eyeing me carefully. "But seriously Thanks."  
"For saving you or not being a jerk?" I smiled, reminding him of earlier events. "The first one, for endangering me and then saving me." Kyle laughed slightly, tossing the rag onto his bedside table. We sat there in silence for a good while. This was so awkward. I haven't really spoken to Kyle in almost four years and now twice in one day. It was so foreign yet familiar all the same. "Whose car did you hit me with?" Kyle asked, still not looking at me. "Oh, Wendy's. We broke up and when I opened the door ya know." I said pointing to his head. Kyle rubbed his shoulder as if it was old news. Well maybe the breaking up part is but it's not everyday you nearly kill your former best friend.  
"Where'd up put my bike?"  
"Well technically on the couch?" Kyle didn't seem too thrilled with my answer and leapt from the bed and slightly jogged downstairs. I got up with a sigh and raced down after him. Upon reaching midway down the stairs I could see Kyle standing in front of the couch giving me an arched eyebrow. I smiled hopefully and he just shook his head and lifted up the handlebar from the cushions. "We're going to spend a lot of time together." He said folding his arms.  
"What do you mean?" I asked, gripping the railing of the stairs. "You're going to help me fix my bike."


End file.
